Mastering influence without making anyone feel bad…
In this article I’m going to share with you a secret of mastering influence and making a lot of money in a short amount of time. It all happened by accident but as I was reflecting back and acquiring more knowledge on marketing I realized why people reacted the way they did.
Here it goes:
In spring 2018 a special event was coming up. My best friend from primary school was about to tie the knot. Me being the best friend took over the challenge of organizing a low budget but a memorable Bachelorette party for her.
“because you only get married once in your life” Right?- She said You gotta make it worth a while.
My friend Amy
all dressed up for her party
Honestly I had no idea how to organize one or what activities to do for the ‘soon to be bride’ but, thank god I have a sister who already attended 3 Bachelorette parties before so I was all set.
Generally according to my sister what you need is a :
sash that’s says ( I’m about to get married or bride to be) ✔
A tiara with a small veil ( just because you are the QUEEN guuurl) ✔
And optional penis shaped straws, cookies, basically anything penis shaped will do. ✔
a place or bar to hold the glorious event ✔
some of your ‘squirl friends’ (Curtesy of mama RU) ✔
So what I my sister draw my attention to was one thing that usually brides do:
Someone brings a bunch of homemade cookies or bakeries of any type and the soon to be bride basically as a challenge has to walk around asking strangers if they want to buy some cookies from her.
The rules were the following:
1. Sell everything from your Tray by walking around the area (in our case was the bar).
2. Ask for a contribution in exchange for the food (precisely, you have to say it can be anything from even 1 cent. Here, the money is symbolic it’s up to you how much you want to pay)
Guess what?
We made 100 dollars (worth of local currency) with just 10 minutes of walking around.
Why we didn’t make more you may ask?
Because we ran out of food to sell that’s why. ( Roockie mistake I know)
But it made me think of something….
How the hell we pulled this off?
Let’s attack it why?
The ultimate mastery of human influence.
Imagine this: You and your friends are hanging out in a bar, drinking having fun. A handful of pretty girl approaches you with the bride (wearing her bridal gear) ‘precising’ it’s her CHALLENGE to sell everything and you can pay as much as you want.
Here is why this is working like magic:
1. It’s a motherfucking challenge Dumbo!
It’s a challenge this is something E.V.E.R.Y.B.O.D.Y understands. So the ‘poor bride’ has to DO it, it’s out of her control! Please help and rescue her. (Of course you will get something in return which is some basic average baked cookie but we are not asking money for free.)
The concept of challenge is important here. We humans take challenges very seriously. That’s why we had the cinnamon challenge, the spicy ramen challenge, the tie pod challenge or even the fucking Bird Box challenge. Our young generation is completely open to challenges even if they are dangerous or stupid. A challenge is a challenge you gotta suck up and do it.
Our “Challenge” though was not dangerous or stupid. It was rather noble.
2. It’s your choice how much you want to pay
The moment the brides approaches you she says It’s up to you how much you want to pay and if you didn’t catch it we the entourage are very quick to jump in to repeat the rules. With this sentence we do one thing subconsciously.
WE immediately take the pressure off.
We convey the message that ITS OKAY to say “NO” we allow you decide if you want to contribute or not and also it’s up to you how much you want to. This means you are actually very much free to decide on how much you want to pay or if you want to pay at all. But are you really?
Is it really an option for you to say no? Is it really a free decision?
Do you really want to risk being looked as an asshole?
Of course not.. and here is why..
The element of surprise!
You are hanging out casually with your friend or date. Suddenly you’re being approached! It’s not like on the streets when people want 1 minute from you and you walk away quickly or you pretend to look at your phone instead.
Here my friend you are you are SITTING at a TABLE there is no escape, ( or would you really risk to be that asshole who stands up and walks away) you have to listen to what she has to say and also quickly make a decision to contribute or not.
Time is of the essence
Here, time is of the essence, imagine this: she is standing in front of you holding something heavy wearing painful heels. You have literally 2 seconds to decide to buy or not. So you’ll likely buy from her even If you are not hungry or you don’t like what she is selling.
Why?
Because you literally have NO time to form any kind of objection?
Think about this, you see a nice pullover in the store: you try it on and it fits perfectly. And then you check the price tag, and think maybe it will be on sale soon… as time passes you’ll might think that well it’s not THAT special, and guess what? The more time passes the less likely you’ll buy it.
The more you think about it the more you explain to yourself that you don’t actually need a new pullover because you already have a bunch. (If this was on sale you would have bought it no questions asked because you are afraid someone might take it.)
Back to our bride, even If you don’t like nor want what she is selling and decide to buy, your rational mind will jump in and say it was indeed for a noble cause so you probably won’t feel bad about buying from her at all.
Interestingly a close by table saw what we were doing and had time to think about it and all of them said no to us. Again it shows that when people actually have time to think they might end up saying no.
The pressure is on baby!
In your moment of you decision there is one huge ass elephant in your brain you have to deal with.
Social Pressure.
It has to with fitting in… In 50. 000 BC when people lived in tribes (check out they had to fit in in order not to die when rejected from a tribe. We brought this inherent desire to be socially accepted with us and worry about what other people think, even if….
… even if they are complete strangers.
So what’s it going to be?
Will you be that asshole who’ll turn some young cute girl away?
Of course you can always say no, but what if you have a date as guy?
You might want to impress that girl you’ve gone out with, and not contributing to a young, soon to be married bride’s challenge is a complete dickhead move?
Right?
Are you really that cheap bro?
But what if you are just with your friends?
Like normal people hanging out in a pub on a Friday evening.
Well what only needs to happen is one of your friends think in a split second that this is indeed a noble cause and gives her some money for a cookie.
Will you be the one who is cheap and not gives anything?
Sure you can sit it out but..
You likely won’t because…
You my friend want to fit in.
Obviously could be a scenario where 5 people in group decides no one wants to contribute but it’s highly unlikely because we are just like you, are out there to have fun.
Under the influence
This is how things actually went down.
I. The bride to be
You might have guessed, but your soon to be bride was under the influence of some wine and or mixed up with some shots so she had no problem getting down and dirty with negotiating and convincing slightly reluctant people.
She was speaking in English, French and or even Hungarian some Russian too, literally she did everything in her power to convince people.
She was pulling the emotional triggers of: I’ll spend it on my marriage or on drinks to celebrate my bachelorette party.
This all has to do with how our decisions are mostly emotional based not rational ones. She was indeed genuine when asking for any contribution.
So my question is…. would you be that asshole who says no?
???
Of course not.
II. The people
Yep, once again our friends hanging out in a bar have had some drinks too, we did not start to pull this off first thing we arrived either. He had dinner some drink and after that we started walking around. But yet again people in general were under the influence of alcohol which makes this even more perfect. Generally a judgment of people under the influence of alcohol is much more obscure. They are willing to give more money out without caring.
On that note our most generous tipper was a super drunk guy. Thank you whoever you are. But you also might not remember anything so it wouldn’t hurt right?
III. The true fans
So what if you are not under the influence, what if you are that asshole who is very reluctant to give money for a noble cause, and doesn’t matter for you if our bride is literally begging you in every language possible?
Well we had some true fans tailing us the whole time. Telling they already contributed and you should do it too. ( they also had some mild crush on us but we kept ignoring them) Tough love right?
SO my question is would you be that asshole?
Would you really?
Of course not. ( At this point you might have said HELL YEAH fuck these manipulative bitches)
IV. The last piece of the puzzle
For a perfectly crafted bulletproof way of making money there was one important missing piece that was almost crucial for the success.
The bar itself.
It was big, indoors outdoors.. and people just didn’t care what we were doing.
Here is why:
- Employes have zero fucks to give they are tired working for shitty tips dealing with drunk people everyday
- We are innocent girls were just having fun and it is as I said totally socially acceptable to do in Bachelorette parties ( I did not invent it, it is an legit thing)
- Even if the employee care about what we were doing they aren’t going to be the ones ruining the fun.
- Even if they interfered well nobody wants a bad review on yelp or social media right?
Here you have it, all the ingredients of a mastering the influence, use this knowledge wisely.
There is one thing that’s needs to be precized.
This is pure influence not manipulation!
Why not?
There are core differences between the two concepts:
1. Manipulation always makes you feel bad about your decision even regretful
2. This is pure influence win-win
Before you jump to judge us… we actually had NO idea what we just did. We were just as surprised as you might be! Not understanding what the actual fuck just happened? How come we made this much in such a short amount of time? We were happy but didn’t quite get it. Could be redo this whole thing over and over again and have the same results?
Sure, we sometimes jokingly say we should.
We were unaware of what we are doing and super surprised and then it got me thinking.. is this a thing.
What do you think, reply in the comment section below: